Overcoming Negative Perceptions: A Journey to Inner Peace
EP. 08
In this episode of The Mae B Mindful Podcast, host Hannah Mae delves into the emotional turmoil of being viewed in a negative light and how to break free from this bondage. Through personal anecdotes and spiritual insights, she offers guidance on transforming negative perceptions, harnessing compassion and forgiveness, and achieving emotional freedom. Tune in for thought-provoking discussions that inspire hope and expand awareness.
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Episode Transcript:
Hello, this is the Mae B Mindful Podcast, and I am your host, Hannah Mae. I'm a mother of six, conscious birth instructor and educator, spiritual growth facilitator, and certified hypnotist. This podcast is about inspiring hope, expanding awareness and consciousness to revolutionize the way we live and experience our lives. You can expect thought-provoking episodes each week, spanning a range of topics, drawing from both my own journey of transformation and healing, and working with others. I hope you find this podcast to be informative, refreshing, illuminating, and instrumental in your own soul's evolution and growth. Let's jump right in.
Hello everybody, welcome back to the Mae B Mindful Podcast. I am your host, Hannah Mae, and I wanted to talk about frustration and what you do to get out of the pain that comes with being viewed in a negative light. On the flip side, the bondage we put ourselves in when we hyper-fixate on seeing somebody else in a negative light. I’ve got to take my shoes off; neither one of those is fun, they both disrupt and disturb peace.
If we are being seen in a negative light that feels unfair, unjust, untrue, it can be really frustrating because you might not be able to change that person's perspective of you. The ego comes under major attack there, and it can cause all kinds of trouble, from just not being our good-natured selves to losing sleep over it to feeling victimized. Maybe there is some degree of victimization there, I don't know. We usually have a part in stuff, with the exception of a few rare cases, whether we want to look at that or not. But we certainly have a responsibility to ourselves to set ourselves free from that bondage.
If we're viewing somebody in a negative light, it can really get in the way and block a perfectly good view and gorgeous scenery or sunset. This can really take us into a spiral of self-pity. It can be very debilitating, it can have physical manifestations, it can make you sick. This stuff shouldn't be ignored, and there's always a way out of it, but it often requires seeing things from a higher perspective and a bit of ego deflation. It means we have to come out of any kind of self-righteous view or perspective, which can feel really tough. We can get very attached to that, but it is not the way of peace. Freedom, forgiveness, and compassion generally are, and it's not an easy thing, but it is what spells our liberation. Once we're liberated and free of that thing, then we're like, "I don't ever want to be anything but this."
And of course, I've said this before, but I feel like I need to say it again: when I speak about finding compassion and forgiveness, it doesn't mean we forget, ignore, disregard, or block certain things out. That would be unintelligent; that would be more avoidance or denial and would not be taking care of oneself. For example, if there's a situation that you don't want to put yourself in again, forgiving somebody doesn't mean you necessarily have to want to spend time with them, hang out with them, or let them back into your life. But it does let that person off the hook; it frees up this energetic bond between you, and it sets you free because there's nothing keeping you tied to that person energetically or spiritually anymore.
We're supposed to be able to move freely; we're not supposed to be bound to these negative energies, perceptions, and ideas. If something's itching and agitating us over and over again, it just means we need to address it, and it's asking for our attention. Some of these things get really, really loud before we're willing to address them. Oftentimes, I've found the things that, when we move to the other side of, spell the most immense freedom and relief are actually the things that we meet the most resistance within ourselves to address and deal with. Because it does require this deflation, this surrender, and a softening where maybe we don't want to soften because we feel we have to protect ourselves, guard something, whether it's our reputation or something important to us.
This can be really challenging, especially if we're actually being seen in a negative light, and it can feel very unfair and unjust. I've had experiences where people have misperceived something I have said or done, and it was not my intention to come from the place in which it was received. It's really nice when you can clear it up and that person believes you, but what if that person doesn't believe you and they choose to continue to see you in a negative light and interact in a toxic or negative way? It can feel really hurtful.
The only thing that I can do, because here's the thing: sometimes these attacks are about the other person's unresolved pain. If you've done what you can do, if you've cleared up what's on your side of it, and that person is still going to hold this against you or see you in a certain judgmental light, then really that's about them. It can be very challenging not to take this personally, but it's actually not about you at this point. This is on them. They are in bondage by their limited view and perception. Any unresolved issues we have in us are going to warp our perspective and the way we see others.
I had an experience where this happened to me. I was really triggered, I wanted to start a fire. The reaction and the engagement that I received when I spoke into that space were very snarky and mean-spirited. It was everything in me not to attack this person because my ego was so under attack. I actually called somebody—a friend who was not going to take my side and say, "That [___]!" I did not call them for that. I called somebody who, and there are not that many people I have that I can do this with, but I do have them and I'm so grateful for them. I called this person who was going to have a spiritually sound response.
Let me tell you what she did: she gave me an incredible gift. She heard me, acknowledged me, and said, "I'm going to pray. Is that okay?" And I said, "Yes, please [___] pray for me because otherwise, I might do some damage." So she prayed. I did not feel any relief from that prayer, but I did in that moment when I realized the thing that was being triggered in me, which was a very vulnerable place in me, was an energy that was presenting for me to address, acknowledge, and honor. I was grateful for that because there's always a gem in this stuff when we look at it honestly. Always, always, always.
So when the floodgates sort of opened around this and my friend heard me and validated me, when I said, "I think I'm going to respond in this way," she said very honestly, which was very loving, "Do you think that's going to help?" I was, in all honesty, able to say, "No, we're going to burn the house down if I do that. No, it's not going to help, it's going to elicit more of an aggressive response." So I had to step away and detach from it. I became open and receptive to seeing this from a higher perspective. I had to really get into a prayer space with it. I had to open my mind, ask for clear perspective, and higher perspective. I did that out of sheer discomfort, not because I wanted to forgive the person—I did not have any love for them in that moment—but because I really needed to get out of the pain and discomfort I was in.
So that's good enough for God, I think, and that's an honest enough desire. In that moment, I became open and was pretty rapidly transformed in the way that I was viewing it. I came to understand that this person was under some kind of torment and very agitated themselves, and they were poking me. In that moment, I was able to let them go. I had to do some more work around it, but I was so grateful to not be so triggered and not personalize it so much. That's just a small example we can come across in regular day-to-day interactions with somebody. We have them all the time, so we have opportunities to do this kind of work all the time. This can really help us to operate from a more authentic and loving place and free ourselves up.
From both sides of this, I was affected by this negative experience, and then I developed a pretty good strong resentment out of it. It would be really easy to see that person in that light and operate from that place, which is a pretty closed-minded place, to only see that person in their most negative and worst light. That doesn't really allow for much more of a different experience other than the one you're painting. It's not going to bode very well for the future, so if it's somebody that you do have a relationship with, it is worth doing this work to shift perspective and see people in their true light. Sometimes you have to dig through the rubble to get to it, you know what I'm saying? Their true self is a bright, shining, beaming, beautiful light, and it just gets covered up sometimes. Some people make it really hard to see them in a more positive light, but they can't help it because they're operating in a dysfunctional way if they have unresolved pain.
Our unresolved pain will show up in our relationships and get projected onto people. It's a whole mess. It's like a spiritual paintball: we're just sort of firing, shooting, mis-aiming, and misfiring. I don't know where that metaphor came from. We're living in a pretty polarized society right now, and that's just where we're at. People are being really called to do their own work, and if they're not, they're going to get triggered by everybody's stuff. There's a lot of projection happening. Cancel culture is a perfect example of how rampant this is—this insanely destructive and pretty awful movement we've been witnessing. I know personally a few people who have been the recipients of this kind of character defamation. It's a result of people really seeing things in one way and in one way only. It's a very spiritually asleep thing to accept or validate that kind of treatment, whether you think the person deserves it or not, whether they're in the wrong or not. It's just very unkind, anti-love, inhumane, anti-spiritual, and it causes a good amount of harm. That person under attack is often the recipient of these angry uproars. They are receiving a lot of negative energy; they are under major attack spiritually and energetically speaking. There's a lot for them to have to contend with, and this is obviously on a much bigger scale than a personal attack. It is a massive thing, and to be able to not have this totally disrupt somebody is almost impossible. It's impossible on a smaller scale, on a one-on-one individual basis, let alone on a bigger scale like this.
Is it possible to rely on a higher guidance system to be restored to clear perspective, to see things in their right light, to get a bird's eye view on it, to not take it personally? Yes. Rather than relying on their triggered ego as the natural impulse response mechanism? Yes, it's possible, but it's deeply challenging not to attach and dive into that negative vortex. It's really easy to take hold of that and then start to interact and do a dance with that negativity. We're not going to win because the only way out of it is to step out of it and elevate above it. That's the only way. As long as we engage and interact with this, we're like dancing with the devil, you know, and it's going to drag us down. We're going to be subject to our own darkened perceptions and limited views and negative view of others, which is going to be really destructive for our mind, body, heart, soul, health.
Wow, the sun is coming in so bright right now you won't be able to see me in a moment. I'm just going to be a bright light talking. Speaking of being a bright light, if you are walking in the light and exemplifying and living in a way where you're putting all aspects of your health first and living a healthy life, most likely that's going to come under attack because you're going to be a mirror for people. I'm sorry, and you've probably experienced it if that's the case, but people will attack you for taking care of yourself, and it's the most unfortunate thing. People will attack you for standing and walking in the light of the truth. They will attack you because if you are a reflection of what is unresolved in them and they are not ready to look at that, then, well, that's self-evident. They might not realize it, but it's their pain that is responding.
The challenge, again, is to not take that personally, to not be offended, affected, and hurt by that. That's natural and normal, but to really see that that is not the true self of that person who is responding to you in that way. That's a wounded person, and there are a lot of wounded people. I encourage you to find your people, okay? Find your people who are on the path with you because you are going to have that harmony and safety there. When other people are on the path and healthy with you, it makes you stronger. It makes you go, "Okay, yeah, this person over here might attack me because maybe I'm living in a way that somehow is triggering for them on some level." It could be the food that I'm putting in my body, I don't know.
Look, I get it, okay? When I was in high school, there was this girl, and there were a few people like this, but this one girl in particular was so flipping happy and enthusiastic all the time. She was straight A's, the teachers loved her. Every single question, her hand would go up, and she would be like, "I know," and she would give the answers so enthusiastically. The teachers just thought she was great, and she got all these accolades. She always had a smile on her face. I sat in that classroom and thought, "What the hell is wrong with that girl?" It's funny because I have children like that now who are that happy kid, and I'm so happy, but I was not that kid. I didn't understand what they were enjoying about school. I wasn't comprehending the material because I was bored. My focus was not there. I had some issues, you know what I'm saying?
I totally projected my issues onto that girl, and that's not very nice, but that didn't have anything to do with that girl. That was just my own projections. I never treated her unkindly; I was a nice kid. It didn't manifest in any harmful way other than it created more negativity within myself. Anybody projecting like that is generating a good amount of a negative storm within themselves. The best thing to do is, yeah, maybe you need a boundary, maybe you need to get away from it, but not to take it personally because it's not about you. If your side is clear, and if your side is not clear, then maybe there's something to clear. I don't know.
So that's what I got for you guys. The sun is about to blind me in my eyeball, so I'm going to jump off now. I love you, soul seekers. Journey on until next time. Thank you for tuning in to the Mae B Mindful Podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review. Your feedback helps us grow and improve. For more information, resources, and exclusive content, visit our website at maebmindful.com.
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